While them lyin' archetypes is chasing cat, I'm tryin' to Sphinx her ... ☥ ☥ Sa-Roc ☥ From The Song, 'Forever' ☥
☥ 15 ~ 25 years old = The Knight. When I was in high school, I was so frustrated with boys that I decided I wouldn't date until I got to college. I was expecting a certain level of maturity. Then when I got to college, I was so disappointed to discover that they were the same boys from high school. In fact, a lot of people get stuck in the Knight stage (for life) which is why I blog so much about high school. I once went to dinner with a female friend, that I had just recently met, and was annoyed because she spent the entire dinner attempting to convince me to not be friends with another woman with whom she had a conflict. I wondered if I would meet people who had evolved past the Page/Knight stage. As a healer, I became determined to examine these stages within myself so that as I healed, I could help others to move forward. Knights are not bad people (everyone must pass through this stage), but they can be very selfish/self-centered (in an unhealthy way) and have irrational fears or experienced some form of trauma that they run from by engaging in distractions instead of self-care. They can also be really good people who do great work to make the world a better place, but they make sacrifices that cost them their health, relationships and affects their ability to make sound long-term decisions (financial, health, etc.).
The Knight is on shaky ground because they use things (money, status, physique, etc.) to affirm their importance instead of connecting with their inner power, which they are afraid does not exist (a problem that would have been solved with a rite of passage ceremony during the Page stage). Like the Page, the Knight lacks the skills to heal, but they deceive themselves into believing that hiding from or ignoring a problem will make it disappear.
Some examples of the Knight archetype include:
☥ The playboy/playgirl/playmate who runs in and out of your life. They are terrified of
intimacy (because in their past they weren't taught how to set ☥ enforce healthy
boundaries, causing them to be vulnerable with/hurt by manipulative people, etc.),
and avoid it at all costs by becoming a control freak to manipulate/ditch the
relationship (to avoid falling in love) or hurt others before they can get hurt. They
cover up their fear through:
☥ Overcompensation (flashy cars, clothes, jewelry, sexual prowess, etc.)
☥ The oppression of others (i.e. power games, racism, manipulation, etc.) which
may solely be an expression of their fear (with or without the playboy/girl/mate
tendencies)
☥ Aggressive/competitive/obnoxious behavior; bragging about/flashing material
possessions that reflect perceived "status"
☥ The overachiever/workaholic who is also terrified of intimacy/facing/healing
childhood traumas so they stay "busy" and/or overcompensate (similarly to the
playboy/girl/mate) to distract themselves from pain
☥ The over-giving ☥ over-committed zealot. These people don't realize that their
unresolved trauma is what drives them to give to the point of depletion. They are in
pain ☥ witnessed tremendous suffering, so they create ☥ join movements to
dismantle injustice - a worthy cause that requires participation from all of us.
However, they haven't healed their own trauma because they erroneously believe
that the social justice work is the healing, or they think that it's selfish to engage in
self-care because others have suffered more than them. These beliefs are an
important overlooked root cause of the failure of just about every social justice
movement. It is one of the reasons why we keep revisiting the same issues
generation after generation. Here's a snapshot of a few incidents that reflect
weaknesses that can (and have) threatened or destroyed the sustainability of social
justice movements:
☥ Several Black Lives Matter activists have committed suicide
☥ The Black Panther Party For Self-Defense was systematically destroyed, and
prominent members such as Fred Hampton were murdered by our own
government. The Black FBI informant responsible for intel on Hampton was
manipulated and he eventually committed suicide. Others were imprisoned or
live in exile such as Pete O'Neal (former head of the Kansas City, KS chapter).
He has not seen his mother in decades, the price he pays for carrying a gun
across state lines (he committed no crime). The NRA fights for gun rights for
white people, but not for social justice for Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant
People.
Social justice leaders can initiate leadership as Knights, but for sustainability and to prevent internal/external sabotage, they must become Emperors ☥ Empresses ☥ Sovereigns. Other over-giving archetypes include the overweight/out of shape/ego-driven church pastor, community leader, volunteer, radical parent, etc. Radical parents can also be Pages or had parents who were Pages.
We are not meant to linger in the Knight stage (it is supposed to be the shortest stage of development). People who remain Knights for too long can turn into megalomaniacs, sexual narcissists, become addicted to pornography, develop secretive sexual deviancies/perversions or other addictions (food, drugs, gambling, etc.).
I understood Michael Jordan to say, during an interview with Ryan Coogler, that once you achieve a certain level of status, it is difficult to find people who will give you good critical feedback. I was hoping to get to the microphone to ask him to consider the flipside of that statement, because this is an issue that causes a lot of problems for celebrities. A celebrity who is a Knight will often surround themselves with people who tell them what they want to hear, and they believe that they are getting good advice. As an example, if I were Michael Jackson's doctor, I would have never approved a 50 city tour. In fact, I would have required that he took a self-care sabbatical so that I could do some deep healing work, which would have taken a few years, but he'd be here to complain about it. The question is, would he have listened to me or fired me and searched for/offered a price high enough to convince a health practitioner to agree with his grueling work schedule? Celebrities need to reckon with what they perceive to be a conflict between self-care and doing what they think needs to be done to advance their careers during the Knight stage. These issues are certainly not limited to celebrities, but we can learn so much from them because they live their lives in the public eye.
I'll give an example of how this mentality can play out. When I first started my business, I met a woman who was a millionaire. As a condition for working with me, she said that she had to lose 100lbs in 90 days. I believe that this request was a test from Spirit to see if money (which I sorely needed) would seduce me away from my core values. I told her that there were plenty of people who could do that for her, but I was not one of them. Luther Vandross, a singer whom I love and miss dearly, is a person who would have made a similar request, and I believe it is one of the reasons why he died prematurely. I told her that I would be happy to work with her when she was ready to lose weight for good and do it the healthy way. I didn't expect to hear from her, but we did end up working together.
I'm diving deeper into the Knight because there are so many ways that people can get stuck in this stage.
The confusion is partially caused by our social conditioning around perceptions of wealth and success. Knights are often on the fast track to success or are at the top of their game. They believe that their workaholism/grit/perseverance/success has earned them the right to graduate to the next stage. They often claim the identity of an advanced stage of development without doing the personal growth work. Their lavish lifestyle and chosen "posse" reinforces their perceived status which distracts them from doing the healing ☥ self-correction work. As an example, wealthy people ☥ celebrities can create an environment that gives them the impression that they are progressing (because they are achieving a higher status of wealth/becoming more famous) when they are actually digressing (which they don't realize until they've sabotaged their career with a bad decision/succumb to illness/death). Though this is a growth opportunity, their pride could keep them from seeing the truth, self-correcting and properly pruning their posse (which needs to be an ongoing process throughout their career).
We can't buy our way out of Knighthood.
Wealthy Knights need to learn how to enjoy and use luxury as a tool for success/personal development and not as a distraction from doing the work of Spiritual growth (most Knights struggle with this issue). There is nothing wrong with wealth. I LOVE luxury. However, as healing is the foundation of my work, my boundaries are clear. I have been tested many times, and I've watched other people start before me, cut corners, cause harm and achieve financial success much faster than me. I understand why a few thousand people read my blogs instead of a few million. I wrestle with how to reach my audience quickly ☥ with the highest level of integrity. It is not easy to walk this path, but I answer to Spirit and trust the process. A King/Queen/Monarch (KQM) is unwilling to sacrifice their identity, health or core values, and they will not manipulate or harm others to achieve success.
The KQM plays the long game, which can sometimes look like they are not progressing. When we plant a seed in the ground, it requires sunlight, nourishment and time to grow. I've regretfully watched too many talented celebrities rise fast and fall hard, or achieve decades of success and then succumb to a scandal, illness or suicide. Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant celebrities ☥ wealthy people must be Emperors ☥ Empresses ☥ Sovereigns (EES) for sustainability and to influence perceptions, social norms, etc. in a healthy way. A Knight succumbs to the temptation of instant gratification, believes that the end justifies the means and will swim with the sharks to advance their careers. A KQM/EES uses their wisdom and connection to the truest part of themselves to transcend the sharks, earning a higher level of sustainable success as well as the respect of the sharks.
Here's what the Knight must do to graduate to the stage of the King/Queen/Monarch:
☥ Face fears and revisit childhood traumas with their current level of consciousness.
Begin the process of healing by spending time in silence/meditation/contemplation.
Journal thoughts and seek support through the cultivation of their mental health self-
care toolkit. Study the How To Outsmart Our Monkey Mind and Rising With The Sun
blogs (practice the exercises, watch the interviews, etc.). This is especially important
for women ☥ gender non-conforming people because it helps us get clear on what we
truly need so that we don't attempt to fulfill that need with a child or relationship
(causing us to place unrealistic expectations on a mate). Men can begin by
understanding the difference between taking action and restless activities.
It's perfectly normal to feel terrified as we face our fears. We cultivate courage by doing the thing that scares us even though we feel afraid. The difference between a Knight and a KQM/EES is that a KQM/EES does what needs to be done. Fear is felt and pushed through ☥ aside but is NOT an obstacle. A Knight will use distractions to avoid facing fears and taking action.
☥ Become aware of ☥ heal emotional addictions. I've included enough content with this
and the recommended blogs to keep you focused on self-care for years. "What The
Bleep Do We Know" explores emotional addictions and their root causes. Resist
the temptation to rush through the process. In this case, fast is slow and slow is fast.
Pick one aspect of your life that you want to heal at a time. The results will be
exponentially successful, facilitating the confidence to tackle the next issue.
☥ Accept responsibility for actions and apologize swiftly ☥ sincerely. It is often difficult for
a Knight to be humble because they can be hyper driven by their ego (to the point that
it blinds judgment and decisions). Recognize when it is time for a course correction
and take time to nurture the self through the path to the higher choice.
How Knights Subconsciously Break Cover
The coolest thing about the Spiritual path for me is that habits that no longer serve my highest good, just fall away. There are so many activities that I no longer participate in that I don't miss at all, but when I'm around other people who can't seem to live without the thing that I no longer do, it becomes impossible for them to believe that I'm not depriving myself. I stopped drinking alcohol because it made me feel sleepy or like I was carrying a weight around. Because this happened right around the time that I was studying holistic health, people around me thought that I was somehow suffering because I "couldn't" have a drink. I dreaded going to mandatory cocktail hours at work, so I would make friends with the bartender and have them put my water in a fancy glass to avoid the "Why aren't you drinking?" conversation. At first, I couldn't understand why people would get so upset that I wasn't drinking. I didn't even pay attention to what people were drinking. Why does anyone care?!?! Then, I realized that Knights don't like for their cover to be broken, so they want to make sure that everyone is drinking. When Knights say one thing, they often mean something else, so they may distract us by bragging about something they have to keep the conversation on the surface. Let's go beneath the surface of an archetypal Knight by unpacking a few lyrics of a song that could easily serve as the Knight's anthem: Imma Be.
☥ Imma be making all them deals you wanna do - Knights love when you are jealous of
them. They will not hesitate to call you out directly to get a jolt of satisfaction from
your reaction. The confident/business savvy people who land big deals are usually
quiet about it until after they've scored the deal. Even then, they tend to share no
more than what is absolutely necessary.
☥ Imma be shaking my hips, You goin' be licking your lips - Knights fear intimacy, so
they may run with sexual manipulation in order to get sexual partners. They attempt
to distract you to turn you on sexually as quickly as possible so that you will not
notice/be turned off by their shallow behavior and whatever they perceive to be
shortcomings/flaws.
☥ Imma be taking them pics, Lookin' all fly and shit, Imma be the fliest chick - Knights
tend to be insecure, so they might attempt to hide it by flashing designer
clothes/shoes, excessive makeup/perfume/cologne, etc. and they call it out to
reassure themselves that they stand out from the crowd. If they were sure of
themselves, they wouldn't have to brag about being fly - in fact, a truly confident
person is comfortable around confident/beautiful people and has no need to prove
themselves.
☥ Imma be a brother, but my name ain't Lehman, Imma be ya bank, I'll be loaning out
semen - Knights typically don't know their worth, and often validate themselves by
how many people will have sex with/be around them. Because they are afraid of
intimacy, they learn about sex through pornography and equate being "good in bed"
with their ability to mimic choreographed sexual movements, which causes
unnecessary anxiety. They could eliminate the "performance anxiety" by allowing
themselves to connect with how they truly feel and expressing that feeling through
their body, which anyone could do exceptionally well to make each sexual experience
increasingly fulfilling (including through masturbation and conscious breathwork).
Semen contains much more than life force vitality. If they truly connected with their
semen on a Spiritual level, they wouldn't loan it out to anyone (because the quality of
the person that they have sex with lowers or raises their level of consciousness and
depletes or nourishes their ojas {power ☥ life force} with every ejaculation). This is why
men tend to look older than women. I've personally worked with male clients who are
as much as 20 years younger than me, but look older than me because of their
content from our Quick Start Guide - order the guide for an introduction ☥ stay tuned
for the video course). The Knight's connection to their semen could cultivate intimacy
☥ orgasm ☥ ecstasy, which is like flying to a destination on a luxurious private jet.
Because they are afraid of intimacy, all they know is the surface orgasm (most likely
learned during the Page stage through pornography/being targeted by sexual
narcissists) which, in comparison, is like hopping on one foot to a destination. The
sexual narcissists of the world have successfully managed to perpetuate sexual
anxiety, lower the quality of the sexual experience for most people and facilitate the
depletion of ojas by reducing sex to a performance.
☥ Honeys in debt, they be bouncing them checks, but I don't really mind when they
bouncing them cheeks - Even when Knights achieve success, they still tend to pursue
people who have less money/education because it gives them great satisfaction to
surround themselves with people who are impressed with their material
possessions/their presentation of status. If they were truly confident, they would seek
mates who are their equal or are on a path of growth and evolution so they can be
inspired to expand their horizons ☥ level up, which is highly exciting to a person who
knows ☥ is comfortable with themselves. Also this lyric alludes to the Knights who are
sexual narcissists and can't get high quality sexual partners so they use money to get
sex either through seducing money-hungry/insecure mates, tempting people who are
already married or through straight out prostitution (these Knights may travel often to
places like Thailand or the Dominican Republic for prostitutes).
☥ Oh let's make this last forever, Partying, we'll chill together - Knights thrive on feeling
good, but at some point, jumping from sensation to sensation gets old. Fearing
that they are losing their swagger, they seek more thrills to distract them from their
intuitive prompts to grow. Whatever trauma they've experienced keeps them from
believing that growth will lead them to a more fulfilling reality, so they hold on to the
devil they know. These Knights could develop life threatening addictions because they
continue to choose stronger distractions to suppress the nudge to grow coming from
their innate wisdom (another unknown sensation that they didn't learn to understand
and process as a Page).
In the title of this blog ☥ within the caption of the second picture of this post I asked, "Is he a Knight, King or Emperor?" Without knowing this man personally (or his gender preference), we can intuit from his eyes and facial expression that he is most likely a Knight. With so many ways to get stuck in the Knight stage, what's our exit strategy? Part III leads us on an empowering journey as we learn how to cultivate the qualities of the King ☥ Queen ☥ Monarch → Emperor ☥ Empress ☥ Sovereign.
Copy/Paste Version Of A Full Citation Example:
Hubbard, P. S. (2020, September 27). Is He A Knight, King Or Emperor? Part II. PHYLLISHUBBARD.COM. <https://www.phyllishubbard.com/post/is-he-a-knight-king-or-emperor-part-ii>
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