Jul 23, 202213 min read

Is He A Knight, King Or Emperor? Part II

Black man running — The Knight needs to face fears ☥ heal traumas and correct misconceptions from early childhood. Knights thrive when they self-correct ☥ take responsibility for their thoughts ☥ actions.

While them lyin' archetypes is chasing cat, I'm tryin' to Sphinx her ... ☥ ☥ Sa-Roc ☥ From The Song, 'Forever' ☥

☥ 15 ~ 25 years old = The Knight. When I was in high school, I was so frustrated with boys that I decided I wouldn't date until I got to college. I was expecting a certain level of maturity. Then when I got to college, I was so disappointed to discover that they were the same boys from high school. In fact, a lot of people get stuck in the Knight stage (for life) which is why I blog so much about high school. I once went to dinner with a female friend, that I had just recently met, and was annoyed because she spent the entire dinner attempting to convince me to not be friends with another woman with whom she had a conflict. I wondered if I would meet people who had evolved past the Page/Knight stage. As a healer, I became determined to examine these stages within myself so that as I healed, I could help others to move forward. Knights are not bad people (everyone must pass through this stage), but they can be very selfish/self-centered (in an unhealthy way) and have irrational fears or experienced some form of trauma that they run from by engaging in distractions instead of self-care. They can also be really good people who do great work to make the world a better place, but they make sacrifices that cost them their health, relationships and affects their ability to make sound long-term decisions (financial, health, etc.).

The Knight is on shaky ground because they use things (money, status, physique, etc.) to affirm their importance instead of connecting with their inner power, which they are afraid does not exist (a problem that would have been solved with a rite of passage ceremony during the Page stage). Like the Page, the Knight lacks the skills to heal, but they deceive themselves into believing that hiding from or ignoring a problem will make it disappear.

Some examples of the Knight archetype include:

☥ The playboy/playgirl/playmate who runs in and out of your life. They are terrified of

intimacy (because in their past they weren't taught how to set ☥ enforce healthy

boundaries, causing them to be vulnerable with/hurt by manipulative people, etc.),

and avoid it at all costs by becoming a control freak to manipulate/ditch the

relationship (to avoid falling in love) or hurt others before they can get hurt. They

cover up their fear through:

☥ Overcompensation (flashy cars, clothes, jewelry, sexual prowess, etc.)

☥ The oppression of others (i.e. power games, racism, manipulation, etc.) which

may solely be an expression of their fear (with or without the playboy/girl/mate

tendencies)

☥ Aggressive/competitive/obnoxious behavior; bragging about/flashing material

possessions that reflect perceived "status"

☥ The overachiever/workaholic who is also terrified of intimacy/facing/healing

childhood traumas so they stay "busy" and/or overcompensate (similarly to the

playboy/girl/mate) to distract themselves from pain

Image of Brutality of a Black man with a "Defund Brutality" sign

☥ The over-giving ☥ over-committed zealot. These people don't realize that their

unresolved trauma is what drives them to give to the point of depletion. They are in

pain ☥ witnessed tremendous suffering, so they create ☥ join movements to

dismantle injustice - a worthy cause that requires participation from all of us.

However, they haven't healed their own trauma because they erroneously believe

that the social justice work is the healing, or they think that it's selfish to engage in

self-care because others have suffered more than them. These beliefs are an

important overlooked root cause of the failure of just about every social justice

movement. It is one of the reasons why we keep revisiting the same issues

generation after generation. Here's a snapshot of a few incidents that reflect

weaknesses that can (and have) threatened or destroyed the sustainability of social

justice movements:

☥ Several Black Lives Matter activists have committed suicide

☥ The Black Panther Party For Self-Defense was systematically destroyed, and

prominent members such as Fred Hampton were murdered by our own

government. The Black FBI informant responsible for intel on Hampton was

manipulated and he eventually committed suicide. Others were imprisoned or

live in exile such as Pete O'Neal (former head of the Kansas City, KS chapter).

He has not seen his mother in decades, the price he pays for carrying a gun

across state lines (he committed no crime). The NRA fights for gun rights for

white people, but not for social justice for Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant

People.

Social justice leaders can initiate leadership as Knights, but for sustainability and to prevent internal/external sabotage, they must become Emperors ☥ Empresses ☥ Sovereigns. Other over-giving archetypes include the overweight/out of shape/ego-driven church pastor, community leader, volunteer, radical parent, etc. Radical parents can also be Pages or had parents who were Pages.

We are not meant to linger in the Knight stage (it is supposed to be the shortest stage of development). People who remain Knights for too long can turn into megalomaniacs, sexual narcissists, become addicted to pornography, develop secretive sexual deviancies/perversions or other addictions (food, drugs, gambling, etc.).

I understood Michael Jordan to say, during an interview with Ryan Coogler, that once you achieve a certain level of status, it is difficult to find people who will give you good critical feedback. I was hoping to get to the microphone to ask him to consider the flipside of that statement, because this is an issue that causes a lot of problems for celebrities. A celebrity who is a Knight will often surround themselves with people who tell them what they want to hear, and they believe that they are getting good advice. As an example, if I were Michael Jackson's doctor, I would have never approved a 50 city tour. In fact, I would have required that he took a self-care sabbatical so that I could do some deep healing work, which would have taken a few years, but he'd be here to complain about it. The question is, would he have listened to me or fired me and searched for/offered a price high enough to convince a health practitioner to agree with his grueling work schedule? Celebrities need to reckon with what they perceive to be a conflict between self-care and doing what they think needs to be done to advance their careers during the Knight stage. These issues are certainly not limited to celebrities, but we can learn so much from them because they live their lives in the public eye.

I'll give an example of how this mentality can play out. When I first started my business, I met a woman who was a millionaire. As a condition for working with me, she said that she had to lose 100lbs in 90 days. I believe that this request was a test from Spirit to see if money (which I sorely needed) would seduce me away from my core values. I told her that there were plenty of people who could do that for her, but I was not one of them. Luther Vandross, a singer whom I love and miss dearly, is a person who would have made a similar request, and I believe it is one of the reasons why he died prematurely. I told her that I would be happy to work with her when she was ready to lose weight for good and do it the healthy way. I didn't expect to hear from her, but we did end up working together.

I'm diving deeper into the Knight because there are so many ways that people can get stuck in this stage.

The confusion is partially caused by our social conditioning around perceptions of wealth and success. Knights are often on the fast track to success or are at the top of their game. They believe that their workaholism/grit/perseverance/success has earned them the right to graduate to the next stage. They often claim the identity of an advanced stage of development without doing the personal growth work. Their lavish lifestyle and chosen "posse" reinforces their perceived status which distracts them from doing the healing ☥ self-correction work. As an example, wealthy people ☥ celebrities can create an environment that gives them the impression that they are progressing (because they are achieving a higher status of wealth/becoming more famous) when they are actually digressing (which they don't realize until they've sabotaged their career with a bad decision/succumb to illness/death). Though this is a growth opportunity, their pride could keep them from seeing the truth, self-correcting and properly pruning their posse (which needs to be an ongoing process throughout their career).

We can't buy our way out of Knighthood.

Wealthy Knights need to learn how to enjoy and use luxury as a tool for success/personal development and not as a distraction from doing the work of Spiritual growth (most Knights struggle with this issue). There is nothing wrong with wealth. I LOVE luxury. However, as healing is the foundation of my work, my boundaries are clear. I have been tested many times, and I've watched other people start before me, cut corners, cause harm and achieve financial success much faster than me. I understand why a few thousand people read my blogs instead of a few million. I wrestle with how to reach my audience quickly ☥ with the highest level of integrity. It is not easy to walk this path, but I answer to Spirit and trust the process. A King/Queen/Monarch (KQM) is unwilling to sacrifice their identity, health or core values, and they will not manipulate or harm others to achieve success.

The KQM plays the long game, which can sometimes look like they are not progressing. When we plant a seed in the ground, it requires sunlight, nourishment and time to grow. I've regretfully watched too many talented celebrities rise fast and fall hard, or achieve decades of success and then succumb to a scandal, illness or suicide. Black ☥ Indigenous ☥ Immigrant celebrities ☥ wealthy people must be Emperors ☥ Empresses ☥ Sovereigns (EES) for sustainability and to influence perceptions, social norms, etc. in a healthy way. A Knight succumbs to the temptation of instant gratification, believes that the end justifies the means and will swim with the sharks to advance their careers. A KQM/EES uses their wisdom and connection to the truest part of themselves to transcend the sharks, earning a higher level of sustainable success as well as the respect of the sharks.

Here's what the Knight must do to graduate to the stage of the King/Queen/Monarch:

☥ Face fears and revisit childhood traumas with their current level of consciousness.

Begin the process of healing by spending time in silence/meditation/contemplation.

Journal thoughts and seek support through the cultivation of their mental health self-

care toolkit. Study the How To Outsmart Our Monkey Mind and Rising With The Sun

blogs (practice the exercises, watch the interviews, etc.). This is especially important

for women ☥ gender non-conforming people because it helps us get clear on what we

truly need so that we don't attempt to fulfill that need with a child or relationship

(causing us to place unrealistic expectations on a mate). Men can begin by

understanding the difference between taking action and restless activities.

It's perfectly normal to feel terrified as we face our fears. We cultivate courage by doing the thing that scares us even though we feel afraid. The difference between a Knight and a KQM/EES is that a KQM/EES does what needs to be done. Fear is felt and pushed through ☥ aside but is NOT an obstacle. A Knight will use distractions to avoid facing fears and taking action.

☥ Become aware of ☥ heal emotional addictions. I've included enough content with this

and the recommended blogs to keep you focused on self-care for years. "What The

Bleep Do We Know" explores emotional addictions and their root causes. Resist

the temptation to rush through the process. In this case, fast is slow and slow is fast.

Pick one aspect of your life that you want to heal at a time. The results will be

exponentially successful, facilitating the confidence to tackle the next issue.

☥ Accept responsibility for actions and apologize swiftly ☥ sincerely. It is often difficult for

a Knight to be humble because they can be hyper driven by their ego (to the point that

it blinds judgment and decisions). Recognize when it is time for a course correction

and take time to nurture the self through the path to the higher choice.

Implosion beneath the surface of the moon

How Knights Subconsciously Break Cover

The coolest thing about the Spiritual path for me is that habits that no longer serve my highest good, just fall away. There are so many activities that I no longer participate in that I don't miss at all, but when I'm around other people who can't seem to live without the thing that I no longer do, it becomes impossible for them to believe that I'm not depriving myself. I stopped drinking alcohol because it made me feel sleepy or like I was carrying a weight around. Because this happened right around the time that I was studying holistic health, people around me thought that I was somehow suffering because I "couldn't" have a drink. I dreaded going to mandatory cocktail hours at work, so I would make friends with the bartender and have them put my water in a fancy glass to avoid the "Why aren't you drinking?" conversation. At first, I couldn't understand why people would get so upset that I wasn't drinking. I didn't even pay attention to what people were drinking. Why does anyone care?!?! Then, I realized that Knights don't like for their cover to be broken, so they want to make sure that everyone is drinking. When Knights say one thing, they often mean something else, so they may distract us by bragging about something they have to keep the conversation on the surface. Let's go beneath the surface of an archetypal Knight by unpacking a few lyrics of a song that could easily serve as the Knight's anthem: Imma Be.

☥ Imma be making all them deals you wanna do - Knights love when you are jealous of

them. They will not hesitate to call you out directly to get a jolt of satisfaction from

your reaction. The confident/business savvy people who land big deals are usually

quiet about it until after they've scored the deal. Even then, they tend to share no

more than what is absolutely necessary.

☥ Imma be shaking my hips, You goin' be licking your lips - Knights fear intimacy, so

they may run with sexual manipulation in order to get sexual partners. They attempt

to distract you to turn you on sexually as quickly as possible so that you will not

notice/be turned off by their shallow behavior and whatever they perceive to be

shortcomings/flaws.

☥ Imma be taking them pics, Lookin' all fly and shit, Imma be the fliest chick - Knights

tend to be insecure, so they might attempt to hide it by flashing designer

clothes/shoes, excessive makeup/perfume/cologne, etc. and they call it out to

reassure themselves that they stand out from the crowd. If they were sure of

themselves, they wouldn't have to brag about being fly - in fact, a truly confident

person is comfortable around confident/beautiful people and has no need to prove

themselves.

☥ Imma be a brother, but my name ain't Lehman, Imma be ya bank, I'll be loaning out

semen - Knights typically don't know their worth, and often validate themselves by

how many people will have sex with/be around them. Because they are afraid of

intimacy, they learn about sex through pornography and equate being "good in bed"

with their ability to mimic choreographed sexual movements, which causes

unnecessary anxiety. They could eliminate the "performance anxiety" by allowing

themselves to connect with how they truly feel and expressing that feeling through

their body, which anyone could do exceptionally well to make each sexual experience

increasingly fulfilling (including through masturbation and conscious breathwork).

Semen contains much more than life force vitality. If they truly connected with their

semen on a Spiritual level, they wouldn't loan it out to anyone (because the quality of

the person that they have sex with lowers or raises their level of consciousness and

depletes or nourishes their ojas {power ☥ life force} with every ejaculation). This is why

men tend to look older than women. I've personally worked with male clients who are

as much as 20 years younger than me, but look older than me because of their

depleted ojas (my sexual health video course will unpack ☥ expand upon the ojas

content from our Quick Start Guide - order the guide for an introduction ☥ stay tuned

for the video course). The Knight's connection to their semen could cultivate intimacy

☥ orgasm ☥ ecstasy, which is like flying to a destination on a luxurious private jet.

Because they are afraid of intimacy, all they know is the surface orgasm (most likely

learned during the Page stage through pornography/being targeted by sexual

narcissists) which, in comparison, is like hopping on one foot to a destination. The

sexual narcissists of the world have successfully managed to perpetuate sexual

anxiety, lower the quality of the sexual experience for most people and facilitate the

depletion of ojas by reducing sex to a performance.

☥ Honeys in debt, they be bouncing them checks, but I don't really mind when they

bouncing them cheeks - Even when Knights achieve success, they still tend to pursue

people who have less money/education because it gives them great satisfaction to

surround themselves with people who are impressed with their material

possessions/their presentation of status. If they were truly confident, they would seek

mates who are their equal or are on a path of growth and evolution so they can be

inspired to expand their horizons ☥ level up, which is highly exciting to a person who

knows ☥ is comfortable with themselves. Also this lyric alludes to the Knights who are

sexual narcissists and can't get high quality sexual partners so they use money to get

sex either through seducing money-hungry/insecure mates, tempting people who are

already married or through straight out prostitution (these Knights may travel often to

places like Thailand or the Dominican Republic for prostitutes).

☥ Oh let's make this last forever, Partying, we'll chill together - Knights thrive on feeling

good, but at some point, jumping from sensation to sensation gets old. Fearing

that they are losing their swagger, they seek more thrills to distract them from their

intuitive prompts to grow. Whatever trauma they've experienced keeps them from

believing that growth will lead them to a more fulfilling reality, so they hold on to the

devil they know. These Knights could develop life threatening addictions because they

continue to choose stronger distractions to suppress the nudge to grow coming from

their innate wisdom (another unknown sensation that they didn't learn to understand

and process as a Page).

In the title of this blog ☥ within the caption of the second picture of this post I asked, "Is he a Knight, King or Emperor?" Without knowing this man personally (or his gender preference), we can intuit from his eyes and facial expression that he is most likely a Knight. With so many ways to get stuck in the Knight stage, what's our exit strategy? Part III leads us on an empowering journey as we learn how to cultivate the qualities of the King ☥ Queen ☥ Monarch → Emperor ☥ Empress ☥ Sovereign.

Is He A Knight, King Or Emperor? Part III